To The Grave
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Andromeda visits Rabastan in Prison.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 **Written for;**

 **Summer Camp; Water Sports. Kayaking;** Character - Rabastan Lestrange. Prompt(s) - "I'm sorry I wasn't the person you needed me to be." / Caress.

 **Raise a Witch or Wizard Challenge** \- Month 6 - Prompts - Afraid, Unready, Tears.

 **Valentine Making Station** \- Cupid - A love that is painful.

 **Cinema Competition** \- The Silence of the Lambs - Show sympathy for the bad guy.

 **The Game Is On** \- The Crooked Man - Somebody who has a secret.

 **Eurovision Song Contest Competition** \- Norway - Ice

* * *

 **To The Grave**

* * *

Andromeda trailed slowly after the guards, pulling her cloak around her. Even without the Dementors, Azkaban still held an atmosphere that chilled straight through to the bone like ice. She knew she shouldn't be here, in this horrendous place, when she had a grandson at home to care for, but she couldn't resist the pull she still felt, even after all the years that had passed.

She wasn't ready for the confrontation of her long buried feelings, in fact, she was about as unready as it was possible to be, but she also knew she was running out of time. He'd spent years in Azkaban before Voldemort's second rising, and the effect on him must be significant. He didn't have long left.

The guards stopped, effectively breaking her from her thoughts. She looked past them, through the bars of the cell that was her destination. He lay on the bed, and she flinched at the frailness of him. He'd never been frail. The man she remembered was strong and brave and full of life.

Of course, that man died long before he became an inhabitant in the hell hole of Azkaban.

"Would you like us to restrain him, Mrs Tonks?"

She blinked, forcing her gaze away from him to look at the kind faced guard. She shook her head.

"No." Her eyes returned to the man inside the cell. "He won't hurt me."

"Are you sure, Ma'am? I mean... he's crazy. He was here with the Dementors."

"I'm sure."

"Okay. If you, uh, need help, just sound the alarm. You know the spell."

Nodding, Andromeda murmured her thanks before she slipped past the guard into the now open cell. She waited until it was locked behind her, until the guards walked away and she could no longer hear the echo of their footsteps, before she approached the man on the bed.

"Rabastan," she whispered, cursing herself for the tremble that was all to clear in her voice. She hated that she was afraid of him. Or maybe it was herself that she feared. She hadn't worked that out yet.

He turned slowly, shifting his weight. When his eyes met hers, she felt that all too familiar spark she remembered from a lifetime ago.

"Andy? Is... Your... I'm... Am I dead?"

She barely heard the words, not that she was surprised. She didn't imagine he had much use for his vocal cords here, no matter that the treatment of prisoners had improved significantly.

"You think you deserve heaven?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "You're not dead."

She sat down on the hard chair by his bed, waiting for him to push himself up into a sitting position. It looked like every movement was causing him pain, and she felt a stab of sympathy for him.

"What... what are you doing here?" he croaked out.

It was a a question she'd been dreading, because she still didn't really know the answer. Denial, after all, was a happy place to live. She didn't reply straight away, just stared at him, trying to find the man she'd loved in the man sitting across from her.

"Why'd you do it, Rab?" she asked quietly. "Why'd you join him?"

He looked away. "I didn't have a choice. You know I didn't."

"You had the same choice I did," she insisted. "I haven't got a horrific tattoo on _my_ arm."

His eyes returned to her and she saw the ghost of a long forgotten smile on his face. "I was never as strong as you, Andy. We both know that."

"You were a coward!"

He nodded slowly. "I was. I still am."

He reached a hand out to caress the side of her face, dropping it when she flinched.

"I'm sorry I wasn't the person you needed me to be, Andy. I... I'm sorry."

"I loved you," she whispered harshly. "And you broke me into little pieces. Why wasn't I enough?"

He laughed then, a horrible unfamiliar laugh that made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. "Don't you get it, Andromeda? I did you a favour! I was never... I wasn't good enough for you. Never was. I couldn't... can you imagine what life would have been like if we'd run away together. Your family, my family, Him... all of them chasing us, never having a moment of peace. We would have both been killed."

Tears leaked from her eyes to her cheeks, but she didn't bother to wipe them away.

"If me joining him meant that you could live safely... it was worth it."

It was her that reached out to him, and he leant into her hand when she placed it gently against his cheek. "I would have rather had you and not been safe than miss you for all these years."

"I just wanted you to be safe," he murmured.

She let her hand fall away. "I should go."

As she stood up, he caught her hand with his.

"Andy, why did you come?"

Linking her fingers with him, she looked down at him. "I wanted to know if any of it was real. I wanted to know if you ever loved me or if I'd spent all my life pining for someone who didn't care."

He stood on shaky legs, she could see the effort it was taking for him to support his own weight, so she pressed a hand on his shoulder for him to sit back down and took a seat beside him on the stone bed.

"I love you, Andy. Always have, always will. Even when... the dementors, they tried to make me forget, but I wouldn't. I couldn't. You were and are my reason for life. That will never change."

She leant forward, pressing her lips against his, the saltiness of her tears mingled in with the forever familiar taste of him. "I love you too."

Standing quickly, she moved to the bars of the cell door and muttered the spell that would alert the guards she was ready to leave.

"Andy... will you come back?"

She turned to look at him as footsteps sounded on the stone corridor floor. "Do you want me too?"

He nodded.

"Then yes. I'll come back."

"Are you ready to leave, Mrs Tonks?"

She nodded. "Yes."

* * *

Standing out in the fresh air surrounding the apparation point, Andromeda took the time to dry the tears from her face. She would be home within minutes, ready to face Harry's smile and cheerful enquiries about her day shopping.

No one would ever need to know about her visit to Azkaban. It would be her secret. Just another one to take to the grave.


End file.
